The Essential Benefit of Mindfulness

The brain is plastic. It develops throughout our lives in response to how we use it. This is one of the key insights from neuroscience. Our thinking habits are constantly getting further strengthened by practice.

It means we can train our minds to do what we want: to concentrate, to be creative, to be positive, to be intelligent, even to be happy. We have incredible potential to learn and change even those thinking habits that seem to be engrained as part of our personalities.

It also mean that non-constructive thoughts can easily become habitual in an unconscious cycle of re-enforcement. For example, the more we play computer games, the more we crave that certain mind stimulation, even when we know it is not good for us. If we get good at being critical, our brains will tend to jump into that familiar pattern, even when we want to be encouraging. If we spent a lot of time multitasking, it will feel more tiring to stick with one task and concentrate more deeply, even if this is what more complex tasks require. We are always training our brains to do what we most often do. Change takes effort.

Do you feel like you are in control of what you think? Thoughts come into our heads without our consent and we have never been taught how to handle those thoughts: how to take control of our minds. For most of us, our thinking has only been trained by outside forces –advertising, computer games, parental programming, work place pressure etc. The new insights of neuroscience and renewed interest in traditional mindfulness practices now give us the opportunity for new levels of self-determination.

This is the essential benefit of regular mindfulness training: to gain control of your thinking, and therefore of your life.

When you practice mindfulness, you gently and purposefully guide your thinking to follow your will. With practice it soon becomes easier, and you will be able to observe your own thoughts, gaining increasingly deep awareness of your own thinking and the impacts it has on you.

Thinking is the basic building block of so much of our lives. What we think affects how we see and interact with the world, and thereby it affects all of our results and experiences. That is why this essential benefit of mindfulness leads to so many secondary benefits including:

  • greatly enhanced focus and concentration,
  • a general improvement in overall health,
  • less stress, anger and mood disturbances,
  • freedom from our habitual thought patterns,
  • increased empathy and kindness, and
  • greatly increased general happiness.

Even a small investment of 10 minutes per day can yield discernible results. Are you ready to give it a try?

Learn all about mindfulness and how to start your own mindfulness training at the Hong Kong Premier of Mindfulness @Work on October 3, 2011.

For support in starting your own daily mindfulness training with the 8-week ‘Make It Happen’ series

Posted in Main Page, Mindfulness, Self-Improvement and Success tips | 1 Comment

Hong Kong Premier of Mindfulness @ Work

I’m thrilled to be launching Hong Kong’s first seminar and workshop series on Mindfulness @ Work, developed by The Potential Project, a Danish company specializing in corporate mindfulness training. Mindfulness is the latest trend in corporate effectiveness and personal well-being –and we need it in Hong Kong!

Increase your focus, concentration, presence and calm with practical scientifically-validated, mindfulness tools.

     When: Monday Oct. 3, 2011, 7pm to 10pm
     Where: Paragon Culture, 23/F, The Pemberton, 22-26 Bonham Strand, Sheung Wan

More info: Mindfulness at Work on October 3rd.

If you’re ready to begin new habits of mindful working, I’m also offering an 8-week program to help you start practicing both sitting and active mindfulness in your daily life.

What are the benefits? Mindfulness is part of a positive worldwide trend bringing more consciousness to business and more intrinsic joy to life. I’ve written an article about why mindfulness is important to me: The Top 5 Benefits of Mindfulness.

Posted in Events in Hong Kong, Main Page, Mindfulness, News & Events | Leave a comment

Top 5 Benefits of Mindfulness (For Me)

Since 2000 I’ve been practicing mindfulness in several ways, including sitting meditation of various kinds and mindfulness in action during my daily life. Looking back over this period of time, I can see tremendous gifts that these simple acts of mindfulness have brought me. I hope by sharing them here, I can also inspire others to start adding mindfulness practice into their lives.

1) Improved Listening Ability

As a coach, my ability to listen is my bread and butter. It allows me to connect with my clients, help them understand themselves and thereby make the decisions and changes that transform their lives. And as a leader it helps me understand the organization, the market, and make informed decisions.

I’ve improved my listening by training the mind to be still in yoga, meditation and walking mindfulness. And of course, mindful listening is a powerful practice in itself.

2) Fewer Bad Moods

A few years ago, I made a commitment to myself to be in a good mood, or at least a neutral mood, every day. About 6 months later, I suddenly realized one day that 1) I was in a bad mood and 2) this was my first bad mood in about 6 months! By then I had actually forgotten the declaration I had made to myself. And I had to think carefully about what I had done to make that happen.

One of the clues was not just what I had done, but also what I had stopped doing. For a few months at the beginning of the year I had been meditating for one hour every day. It seems that the positive effects of that practice had overflowed for a month or so before I started to revert to my previous bad mood pattern.

Scientific research into mindfulness backs up my experience and shows that mindfulness practices like meditation lead to improved moods and more happiness.

3) More Control of My Thinking

One of the most continually useful skills I have developed through mindfulness exercises is to be able to notice my own thinking and thereby gain much more control over it. Once I can catch myself thinking dis-empowering thoughts, I can quite easily change them to work for me instead of against me.

For example, recently I was doing my morning exercises and I heard the words in my head ‘I hate stomach exercises’. How dis-empowering! No wonder I find myself avoiding those exercises. I had never realized until then that I was internally demotivating myself with my thoughts while at the same time trying to motivate myself. It is truly amazing what we tell ourselves when we’re not paying attention!

Now that I know I have that dis-empowering thought, I can easily replace it with more constructive thoughts: “I choose to do those exercises because I want to.” “I love the results!” “And I can learn to love the feeling too.” By noticing the thoughts I’m having, I gain control of so many aspects of my life.

Most of the time our minds operate on programs that have been ‘installed’ years ago. Some of it is ancient programming from our animal past, some is from early childhood, often from experiences that are completely irrelevant to our current situations. Mindfulness allows us to notice those undesirable thoughts so that we can change them to suit our actual current needs rather than just living unconsciously.

4) More Freedom (to do what I choose, rather than doing what I can’t help doing)

Through the constant practice of noticing my own thoughts and changing them to suit me, I have gained much higher confidence in myself. I know from experience that my mind is plastic and can be changed through my own effort, as confirmed by recent developments in neuroscience. And I’ve already changed many of my old thought patterns so that I am less afraid of making mistakes and less bothered and stressed by the unending pressures of life. To me, this feels like freedom.

5) Insight

The more I practice mindfulness, the more it continues to inspire me. By listening to myself in the deepest way, I gain insight into the most frequently asked questions that I can’t read about in an FAQ: about who I am. In this noisy world, I’m inspired to find answers in the deepest quiet where I had not thought to look before.

Learn how to get the benefits of mindfulness at the Hong Kong Premier of Mindfulness @Work on October 3, 2011.

Posted in Angela's Interests, Main Page, Mindfulness, Self-Improvement and Success tips | 5 Comments

Return on Investment (ROI) Tracking in Executive Coaching

Executive coaching can be an excellent investment for any business, but while the effects of coaching are often strongly felt by the client, the true impact on business results can be difficult to put into numbers. Many companies that invest in coaching are convinced of the benefits because of the glowing testimonials from company leaders. But organizations that are just getting in the game may find it difficult to sell coaching internally as a worthy investment.

This year I’ve been testing a system of tracking ROI with two different companies to see how the system might affect the company’s willingness to invest in more coaching in the future. In the past I’ve been disappointed occasionally when organizations get into coaching tentatively, and thereby waste the opportunity to make major strides in their company. They lack a vision of what coaching can do for them. Without a strong, senior proponent, it is difficult to get sufficient buy-in for the budgets required for effective executive coaching.

The results for my two ROI tracking case studies are on target. By focusing on ROI at the beginning of the engagement, we have been very clear about what the client needs to change in order to see concrete external results. We decide specifically what changes we intend to create within the team and in the business measurables, and we note how these are connected to the behaviour changes we expect from the client. It provides a different focus of attention for the often very results-oriented business managers who are not so interested in the warm, fuzzy internal changes in their staff. But they are very pleased when they can have a much clearer assessment of their investment in coaching.

Therefore I have noted that tracking ROI has dual benefits of:

1) keeping the coaching goals clear and targeted on business results and
2) providing convincing ROI data to facilitate further use of coaching in the organization.

Of course, with any corporate coaching, there is a risk of becoming too goal focused and missing the true developmental potential of the client. It is usually not clear at the beginning of a coaching assignment, exactly what the goals should be and how to elicit the greatest potential of the client. The coaching goals will become clearer during the first few coaching sessions. Therefore, there must also be a clear mandate from the company that the ultimate aim of the coaching is the development of the client. This agreement gives the client and coach enough flexibility to adjust as the true nature of the coaching challenge unfolds.

It is very satisfying to provide organizations with clearer evidence of the positive results of coaching. This is another route to promoting the coaching approach in places where it can make a great positive difference to both the personal development of leaders and organizational results.

If you’d like more information on how this works, please get in touch.

Posted in About Coaching, Main Page, News & Events | 2 Comments

Website Makeover!

After 11 years, I’ve got a new look. What do you think?

I built the first site at this location back in 2000 and it has grown gradually over the years, as my business also grew, spilling off another website and a blog (which is now re-integrated into this site).

It is time once again to upgrade the technology and consolidate a new view of my business. I now have a stronger corporate focus as I seek ways to have a bigger evolutionary impact withing my expanding sphere of influence. Loving Your Work career coaching services continues to serve individuals in Asia.  From this site I want to express the larger context of services that I provide, particularly the growing edges into corporate coaching culture development, women’s leadership and mindfulness.

And now that this new site is in place, I plan to get back to more regular communications through this blog.

Thank you for joining me!

Posted in Main Page, News & Events, Updates from Angela | 1 Comment

Why Develop PQ and SQ

I’ve learned a new way of looking at human capability which is relevant for anyone keen to develop themselves.  I’m sure you’ve heard of IQ, a measure commonly used to assess individual intelligence. And probably you’ve also come across EQ, a term and model popularized by Daniel Goleman in the 1990′s.

In most of our lives, the two most commonly known intelligences, IQ and EQ are undeniably important. As Cindy Wigglesworth of Deep Change pointed out to me, there are also two more measures of capability that complete a more comprehensive view of what is required for substantial achievement in the current age.  One of those, Physical Intelligence or PQ, reminds me of the crucial impact of my physical vitality on all my other capabilities. The other, Spiritual Intelligence or SQ, points to the higher levels of personal development that are a requirement for success at the highest levels of leadership in a globalized and rapidly changing world.

What exactly are these four types of intelligence?

IQ is essentially our ability to think; to use our brains.

EQ is divided into four ways of using our emotions: 1) awareness of our own emotions, 2) awareness of others’ emotions, 3) ability to manage our own emotions and 4) ability to work with other people’s emotions.

PQ refers to our ability to use our bodies effectively. For most of us it means we are nourished by our food, we have sufficient energy and vitality, we suffer few aches and pains, we can sleep sufficiently. In short, our physical selves fully support our other capabilities. Of course, athletes take PQ to much higher levels.

SQ is described as a combination of wisdom and compassion that is evident in the highest known levels of development. (Many models describe those higher levels of development including Kegan, Beck, Laske, Wilbur and others.) It has nothing to do with religious or spiritual practices per se, although those practices are designed in general to raise SQ.

In terms of evolutionary development, PQ is first (the first to evolve), while SQ is last (and clearly dependent on all the previous levels). Yet this year I see these two as the secrets to my success.

Why PQ and SQ are important now

While my PQ is mostly sufficient (I sleep, eat and move well!), I’ve noticed that even low levels of physical discomfort disrupt my ability to manage my thinking and emotions. Like many people, I believed that there is a certain minimum level of physical well-being that will support all the higher levels of functioning that I desire. Now I am experimenting with the idea that a higher level of physical well-being will allow me to increase my IQ, EQ and SQ.

As a professional coach, I have been intently concerned with developing my EQ over the past decade. I am now very interested in the concept and development of SQ. Having experienced global leadership roles and coached many global leaders, I have noticed how important both IQ and EQ are to leadership effectiveness. Since global leadership requires that we  emotionally connect and intellectually influence great numbers of diverse people, IQ and EQ alone are not sufficient. It is truly the wisdom and compassion of SQ that are needed. My favorite leadership books and mentors reflect this thinking when they write about servant leadership, synchronicity, transformational leadership and more.

And so in 2011, my intention is to focus on developing my PQ and SQ. And I’m already starting…

In mid-February I will be co-leading the ‘New Foundation Retreat” where we will spend 4 days rejuvenating our bodies through superfood detox, massage, yoga, life coaching and other treats. On the optional 5th day of the retreat, having revitalized our bodies, we will guide participants in a ‘meditation marathon’ to dive into the quiet internal depths of peace where the roots of wisdom and compassion can be found.

If PQ is an important component of your personal development plan this year, I hope you will consider the opportunity to join this unique retreat.

Posted in Leader as Coach, Leadership, Loving Your Work | 3 Comments

New Thriving Strategies & Coaching Skills

I’m excited that my favorite NLP teacher, Judith DeLozier will be back in Hong Kong to share some of her latest work. I’ll be attending. Will you join too?

New Thriving Strategies & Coaching Skills
–Weekend Workshop with Judith DeLozier–

Whether you are new to Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) or a master trainer, this is a great opportunity to have some new personal insights while learning cutting edge techniques for personal development. Judith’s workshops are always tremendously fun, nurturing and enlightening. Plus, it would be lovely to spend a weekend with you!

The applications of Third Generation NLP combine and utilize all three of our minds: cognitive, somatic and field. Through integrating these three sources of intelligence, we are able to accomplish good results more easily and elegantly. At the same time, we are also able to address more profound and complex issues and achieve outcomes  that are not possible to reach through any one of the sources of intelligence alone. Third Generation NLP processes are both simple and deeply transformational.

Here’s what we will learn in this workshop:

  • New sets of thriving strategies using the generative change approach
  • Become more flexible and resourceful in handling different situations in the workplace and personal life
  • New coaching skills with NLP and develop them ‘in our muscle’ so that  empowering others become second nature
  • About NLP and its latest development (the Third Generation NLP), and how it can help transform us to achieve goals more effectvely and elegantly

Click these links to see Judith Delozier’s bio and a recent interview.

When: 10am to 6pm, 27-28 November, 2010
Where: Kowloon Tong, Hong Kong
Cost: HK$4000
Hurry to get the Super Early Bird price of HK$3000 for the first 30 registrants!

Download the Registration Form here.

For more information, contact Talis Wong.
Email: enquiry@ddcentre.com
Tel: (852) 3162 3480 or (852) 9834 2112

Posted in Events in Hong Kong, News & Events | Leave a comment

How to Get Unstuck

Feeling stuck is an indication that you have unresolved conflicting intentions. You want two things that do not seem to be simultaneously possible. For example, maybe you want to keep earning your salary but without working in your job. Or perhaps you want more challenge and autonomy but without more stress.As you reflect on your problem, can you identify two or more intentions or desires that seem to conflict putting you in a ‘no-win’ situation? Sometimes the conflicting intentions are unconscious such as:  ‘I want more time for myself’ and ‘I want everyone to like me’.

There are three essential strategies and many specific ways to get yourself unstuck.

Strategy #1: Deconstruct your conflicting intentions

It really helps to understand exactly how your thinking is keeping you stuck. Sometimes simply realizing what is behind your situation is enough to get you unstuck.

  • Write it down

Where do I go from here?

Do you try to solve your problems simply by thinking about them? It’s really difficult to stop your mind from covering the same thoughts over and over again. The solution is to write it down. Personally I prefer to use mind-mapping so that I can outline complicated problems. Journalling and stream-of-consciousness writing also work. If you’re not so verbally oriented, try drawing diagrams or pictures.

  • Have a coaching conversation

A coach’s role is to help you make new connections in your thinking leading to new insights.  Since the coach has an outside perspective to your problem, he/she can help you see things differently by asking questions that point you in new directions, or by reflecting your own thinking so that you can see if for yourself. Friends can do this for you too, as long as they are good listeners, appreciative and respectful, patient enough to let you do the thinking and neutral in the situation.

  • Use intuition and creativity

The answer to your problem is waiting to be found. Do you know how to tap into those answers within yourself? Like many famous mathematicians and scientists, when I’m working on a problem I go for a walk. Others paint or pray or swim or meditate or listen to music or take a shower. All these activities rely on getting your brain into a relaxed but alert state so that it can make new connections.

Strategy #2: Build energy and momentum

One of the main reasons people stay stuck is because they are overloaded in their lives and they don’t have the time and energy to find their way out. Therefore even before deconstructing your problem, you may need to build your capacity for creativity and change. Here are a few easy ways to start.

  • Simplify

Drop some balls. Say no. Turn off your phone/social media. Schedule some free time. Most of us live in a perpetual cycle of adding to our lives. So we must occasionally trim back on our commitments so that we can have a life!

  • Create new nourishing habits

What is one thing you could do every day that would make you feel good and that would take very little extra time or effort? How about a morning stretch, a healthy breakfast, deep breathing, a talk with your child, fruit in the afternoon, a mind-clearing walk, aromatherapy in the shower, or whatever most nurtures you?

  • Stop tolerating

Make  a list of 20 things that bother you and start fixing them. Start with the easy things and keep going. Notice how good it feels to clean up, sort out and put your own needs first.

  • Create a supportive environment

Your environment includes your physical surroundings and the people you spend time with. Changes in your environment have a momentum-building effect since they affect you continuously. So will you clean up your desk, buy a plant, make regular dates with your most positive friends, expand your connections etc.? 

Strategy #3: Make some changes

Even if you’re not sure how to solve your problem, you can start getting unstuck by making some changes. As you change, even if you’re moving in the ‘wrong’ direction, the ‘right’ direction will become clearer. Your movement can break the paralysis of being stuck.

  • Use new ways of thinking and being

One of the easiest ways to make a change is to start with your thinking. For example, rather than thinking ‘I hate my job’, you could start thinking ‘I enjoy X about my job’. It always amazes me what a huge difference a small change in my thinking can make to my results. It doesn’t seem to make sense, since the thinking is happening privately inside of me, but because my thinking affects my perception, it affects my behaviour, how people see me and thereby it can bring new opportunities very quickly with very little effort.

An even more powerful change can happen when you purposely select and use a generic personality (an archetype) to guide your thinking and behaviour.  For example, if you are seeking new work opportunities, you may see yourself as an Adventurer or a Detective.  If you want to create a more supportive work environment, you could act like a Visionary, a Revolutionary or even a Queen or King. If you’re looking for creative solutions, become like a Magician or a Connector. Choose any archetype you can think of that will help you do things differently towards your purpose.

  • Envision your future

Just as athletes envision their ideal performances to greatly increase their likelihood of success, you can envision your ideal day or week by running through the details in your head. Focus on what you will do and how you will feel in your ideal future. That special mental attention will help you make better choices during your day and guide you to behave in the ways that will most likely produce your goals.

  • Continuously acknowledge and celebrate your progress

By noticing and either publicly or privately acknowledging yourself, you can continually strengthen your thinking, your confidence and your progress.—Feeling stuck is an indication of your desire to progress. As you improve yourself and your life,  you will inevitably have periods of feeling stuck. So it pays to work on your getting-unstuck skills since they will serve you through a lifetime of personal progress. This fall in Hong Kong I’ll be hosting a support group that will use all these methods, and more, to get people unstuck, to build the personal foundations that will help them have the clarity, confidence and support to keep moving towards more fulfilling lives. Will you join us? For more information click here

Posted in Loving Your Work, Main Page, Self-Improvement and Success tips | Leave a comment

Evening Workshop Introducing the Personal Foundation Program

–A small group workshop with a coaching approach for people in Hong Kong who want to take the next step in their personal development– This workshop is for YOU if:

  • You’re at a crossroads, making major changes or starting a new phase in your life
  • You want to take the next step in your personal development
  • You want to be inspired by other people’s approaches to personal growth
  • You are considering joining the Personal Foundation Program
  • You want to be surrounded by open, positive, supportive people, or
  • You are a graduate of the PF Program and you want to reconnect and refresh

What will happen? You will meet a small group of people in a private boardroom in Central Hong Kong to:

  • Learn 7 key strategies for accelerating your personal success and fulfillment
  • Reflect on how these strategies apply to you
  • Share different challenges and perspectives from all group members
  • Realize something new that will help you progress
  • Enjoy a warm and constructive atmosphere facilitated by Angela Spaxman

Two Dates: Monday October 4th or Monday October 11, 2010
Time:
Registration 6:45 p.m.  Workshop 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Venue:
In Central Hong Kong, to be confirmed
Fee: HK$200 per person
Space is very limited and this is an unbeatable price …so I suggest you sign-up early!

SOLD OUT Monday, October 4th
SOLD OUT Monday, October 11th

If you have trouble with the online payment, please send an email to:  info ‘at’ spaxman ‘dot’ com ‘dot’ hk

Sorry, there are no refunds but you may pass your seat to a friend if you’re unable to attend.

Posted in Events in Hong Kong, Loving Your Work, News & Events, Self-Improvement and Success tips | 1 Comment

Back to the ‘Foundation’ After a Few Years Off

I’ve decided to re-run Coach U’s premier personal development program this fall, 2010. One of my past participants requested it;  I ran this program 7 times in Hong Kong between 2001 and 2004. Now is a good time to get back to basics and offer this rewarding program again.

Many of my clients are starting  new directions for their lives and needing to rebuild their foundations in order to do that. With the ever-increasing pace of change in the world, it’s no wonder that people need to re-group, re-assess and re-design the basics of their lives from time to time so that they can keep moving forward strongly. It is especially necessary for people who have an urge to be successful and make a difference.

This program, the Personal Foundation Program, is for people who are feeling overwhelmed, directionless, bored, unclear or under-confident. They may be undecided about their career direction, frustrated by their lack of progress, or even gearing up for a big change that they know will require a lot of them.

The Program is a structured way to take a look at all aspects of your life’s foundation. With the support of a small group and an experienced coach, participants redesign and rebuild their foundations so that by the end of the program they feel clear, confident and satisfied that they are heading in the right direction and with the resources they need to be  successful and fulfilled.

I’ve seen these results many times before with this program and I’m really looking forward to doing it again with a small group of special people. Who will join me?

Posted in Events in Hong Kong, Loving Your Work, Self-Improvement and Success tips | Leave a comment